It will be Better right?

If there is really a God up there, I think I'm a case gone wrong . Very often I wonder what's my purpose of being here. And very often I wish I was not.

Yes, to many my problems are probably not worth a cent as I'm sure there must be loads of people with bigger problems. But I'm a born worrier.

I started worrying about the lost of my parents when I was 9. I was crying in bed every night worrying that my parents will be gone before I knew it. So much for a young kid. While studying I worried about my exams, worried about what mum would say about my results and where it'll lead me.

When I grew up, I worried about my career and if I could achieve what my dad had so that I can offer the same back to him. Then when I was working, I hated my job and wanted something more, I worried about my mundane life. I also worried about being alone and that I'll grow old to be a old hag with no one to share my life.

And now, I'm worried about my life ahead and how things will be for my future. I've got so used to doing things my own way that all of a sudden I'm so worried about losing what I have - my own space and room, spending my hard-earned money to buy what I like, choosing what i want and the people I wish to associate with and choosing a life I want to lead. Though I wish all these remain unchanged, but I know it will.

Sounds like I'm being selfish, but I'm scared of what I'll be facing. Am I prepared? Would I be able to do it? I don't know. I really don't. I'll pray that things will be better. It will be, right? Huh?