Suppression

Mentally, it is draining me.

Many things had happened recently.

And probably added to the tension.
I have already avoid talking to her.
And avoided having be in her presence for long.
Otherwise, I'll definitely break down one day.
But still, she won't let me go.

I think I'm going crazy and further into depression.
The sight of her makes me paranoid.
Makes me shivers, makes my heart beat faster.
Makes me shun my presence here.

I wish I had the strength.
I wish I could do more.
I wish I could defend myself.
But when I look at her,
The disappointment I have is so great
That I rather walk away,
Which is what I do most often.

Am I so detestable?
Have I not given enough?
Or did I give too much in the past
That now it seems like it's all too little.

My eyes are swollen.
It hurts and I'm going to bed.